Thursday, September 17, 2015

The sun rises.

As a mom of two infants, pulling myself out of bed at any time other than for a feeding/changing seems absurd to me, but this morning I was inspired to catch the sun rise.

As with most things lately, I am kind of a day late. You see, a lot of people were up and focusing on yesterdays sunrise, and I only experienced it through beautiful photos on Facebook.
A fellow Tartan recently passed away. She and I did not directly know each other, as she was much younger than me. I did not have the opportunity to follow her story before she passed, But thru social media I have experienced the way a community can come together. The enormous out pouring of caring, gratitude, hope, and love are popping up in my news feed by the minute. As I learn more with each post, I find what a strong and amazing woman this warrior was. An inspiration.
She advised us all to live life to the fullest. A concept that is often noted, but not often followed through on. We all claim to do it, but do we? She remarks on the sunrise and how it is the most peaceful time of the day, and why it is important to observe it.

My mornings don't include enjoying a sunrise. But - there is no good reason they can't.
After I fed the babies, and rocked them back to sleep this morning, I was excited to crawl back under the covers and catch a few more z's myself. For, it is the one time of day I have the whole bed to myself and no place I need to be. I browsed through Facebook and again these posts popped up of yesterdays beautiful sunrise with the hashtag attached honoring the fellow classmate. As I delved in deeper, I realized I was doing this all wrong. I got up and threw on a pair of sweats, clicked my phone off and ran downstairs, on to the back porch to see if I was too late for the sunrise. I wasn't! I caught a beautiful photo. I started to do my daily chores that I don't typically get to do with the babies awake. I started the laundry, picked up the kitchen and decided now was a great time to take advantage of a shower! I was feeling pretty proud. I got in the shower and began washing my hair (gasp! this doesn't happen often!) YAY! Success.

But was it? It was then I realized that I missed the whole point. As I stood in the shower thinking of how to share my photo that I was inspired to take, I realized that I was actually doing injustice to the cause of honoring her, and life in general. I saw the sunrise, but I did not experience it. I witnessed the light falling across my living room floor as I rushed by with my laundry basket, but I did not honor it. I did the exact opposite.

Needless to say, the sun had risen quite a bit once I got out of the shower and dressed. With my hair soaking wet, I tangled it up in a towel, opened my back door for the second time this morning, and stepped on to the porch. The sun was only a little bit higher in the sky. I stood there watching. I watched as the world woke up. The small animals scavenging through the yard looking for breakfast, the sound of school buses bustling around the neighborhood, the sunlight hitting each surface of my yard, awaking the dewy grass and the sleepy leaves. I breathed in the cool morning air and wondered how I let this moment slip by every morning.

I am what I refer to as a "rusher". I quickly enjoy things, because I am always in a hurry to get on to the next thing. A list of "to do's" a lifetime long. Sitting still is not my strong point, but wishing I had is. It may not be New Year's Eve, but I am due for a resolution. My kids are growing up before my eyes (when people say 'it happens so fast' they aren't lying), my parents are growing older before my eyes, and so am I. Life changes drastically every day, and you never know just what each day will bring. So my resolution, as we head into the busiest time of year, is to slow down. Taste the food I am inhaling for once, smell the new air of fall, touch that first snow fall, notice the little things, not worry about what needs to be done and just be in the moment.

We can all take a lesson from Aimee, if we knew her or not. Life IS precious. Every moment is. Be present. Be in that moment, if it is hard, if it is easy - just be there. It will not last. And I can only imagine, that there is no one out there on their last day on earth wishing they saw less beautiful sunrises.